The One Goal That Stress Can’t Touch—Here’s Why
Outsmart stress and hit your targets.
Let’s be real: Falling short of your goals feels frustrating and demoralizing. And, if you’re honest, it also feels personal. You start asking yourself, Why can’t I follow through?
I get it. I’m human too. And as someone whose job it is to help people make sense of their stress, I can assure you: You’re not broken. You’re not lazy. But you might be setting yourself up for failure without realizing it.
Stress and Your Brain
When you’re stressed (and who isn’t right now?), your prefrontal cortex—the thinking part of your brain responsible for goal setting, decision-making, and future planning—is offline. Meanwhile, your amygdala, the emotional center of your brain, is on high alert and in the driver’s seat. The result? You feel overwhelmed and unequipped. You get in your own way, and your goals quietly drift out of reach.
This is not a personal failing; it’s how your brain is built. By design, your amygdala is focused on your immediate survival. While in overdrive, it’s virtually impossible for you to plan for a distant future because strategic thinking is what your prefrontal cortex is meant to do. But you can learn to work with your biology and outsmart your stress.
One simple shift can rewire your brain away from amygdala mode, back to your prefrontal cortex.
Instead of asking yourself, What’s the matter with me? when stress is interfering with your progress, ask yourself, What matters MOST to me? Then, create something I like to call your “MOST Goal.”
Your MOST Goal is a framework (and easy-to-remember acronym) that works with your brain, not against it. It’s simple and can help you set realistic, doable goals that stick. Goals that help you feel motivated, not defeated. Goals that create healthy, forward momentum and propel you into the best version of yourself.
How to Use the MOST Goal Framework
When you follow this MOST Goal framework, you learn to quiet your amygdala and give your prefrontal cortex its power back, even in the midst of your stress.
Create a MOST Goal, either personal or professional, that fulfills each of the four criteria below:
M = MOTIVATING: Choose a goal that feels energizing and within reach. Honing in on your “why” will keep you on track because knowing what matters most to you is a powerful catalyst for change.
O = OBJECTIVE: Track your progress with an objective metric that’s easy to monitor incrementally. Recording your progress helps with accountability and habit formation.
S = SMALL: Choose a goal that’s small enough to virtually guarantee your success. You can work towards it without many disruptions to your life. Something that you’ll feel a measurable sense of accomplishment about when you complete.
T = TIMELY: Pick a goal that’s time-sensitive. Ideally, you want to aim to achieve this goal in the next three months. It takes about eight weeks for your brain to create a new habit. It’s important to remember that falling off and getting back on is a normal part of the habit-formation process. Give yourself the grace to flounder.
Using the MOST Goal framework is the first step in moving away from surviving (your amygdala) and back to thriving (your prefrontal cortex). The result? Goals that actually stick no matter the stressful circumstance—and, ultimately, a more accomplished goal-setter (you).
This week’s stress reset: Choose a goal that fits the MOST Goal framework and fulfills all four criteria. Trust the process, and give yourself a full two to three months to achieve it (now that you know the brain takes eight weeks to build a habit).
Next week, we’ll dive into a proven, science-backed strategy to bring your MOST Goal to life!
Until then,